Getting Older

The other day I was thinking. One of the things that gets harder to as you get older

The Armpits

Okay, I was sitting in my easy chair. It was a hot day and I was wearing a sleeveless shirt. My hand was nicely tucked behind my head to prop me up a bit. Just as I was dozing off, I felt something licking my armpit. Startled, I jumped up to find my dog, Fynn, licking my armpit. I was about to yell indignantly at him. After all who wants their armpit licked. I don't think I have ever had my armpit licked before. This was a first.

I began to think for a minute. What was this dog thinking? Why would you lick an armpit. I mean actually it takes quite a loyal friend to lick your armpit. I can't think of another person, besides my dog, that would even consider licking my armpit. Maybe, since it was a hot day, he was just salt deficient. Maybe it was his way of letting me know how much I meant to him. I mean I don't really know how a dog thinks. He might of just been making a little connection (like you are really important to me so I will lick your armpit).

As I was beginning to settle upon the notion that this dog was demonstrating affection and loyalty to me, I remembered earlier in the day Fynn found a dead salmon down by the river. The salmon had been laying on the shore in 108 degree weather. It was raunchy. Fynn was happily eating this most rancid smelling fish. I nearly gagged as I got within a few feet. Fynn thought this rotting piece of putridness was a delicacy. He delighted in the smell.

It occurred to me there was nothing nobel or familial about Fynn licking my armpit. I decided it was time I took a shower. So I did.

Motorcycle and Fear

I used to ride motorcycles all the time (40 years ago), and seldom did I sense fear. I can't remember sensing fear. But, I have had my new motorcycle for about a year and I still sense fear. I think it is fear of falling and fear of breaking something. I didn't fear that sort of thing 40 years ago. I might have even tried to break something.

But, that has changed. Today, I faced the fear of riding up to Government Camp on Highway 26. I haven't taken that ride because I feared that stretch of highway. Riding up the mountain is not fearful. It is the ride down that shakes me up. The ride turned out totally okay, but I feared the curves and the downhill. If you go to slow, cars come up behind and push hard. If you go too fast, it is hard to control the curves. The ride turned out fine, but I feared the ride. I need to do it again. I need more experience.

There have been a number of motorcycle accidents reported lately where there have been fatalities. It seems like the motorcycle rider has always been the victim of someone else's mistakes; usually going too fast. I am a pretty cautious rider, however, it is clear that if someone else makes a significant mistake, I can't control the results.

So why do something like riding motorcycles that seems more dangerous than some other adventures? I don't know. There is such a thrill to riding. My daughter says that safety is an illusion. I think she is right, but why do people test the limits of safety for thrill? I think it is built into us to do something requiring some danger. There is an adrenaline flow that you can't get sitting on the deck (where a tree could fall and hit you). I don't like climbing mountains and I don't like jumping out of airplanes. But, I do like going fast and feeling the wind against my face. I have friends who scuba and fly airplanes and daughters who jump out of airplanes and the like. I still don't understand why the need to test ourselves, but there seems to be a need.

I think, as we get older, to take less risks. There is good reason for that. I am not as quick or strong as I used to be and my reflexes aren't as sharp. But, I also have this great fear that I will try to be so safe that life is no longer an adventure. I think that is one of the things I miss about youth so much is the daring to enter adventure. I typically don't do that anymore. Riding a motorcycle, for me, is to enter an adventure that isn't totally comfortable. It gives me that rush that I seem to miss in some of my other interests. I guess I better not get too philosophical and just enjoy the ride.

Church Issues

I guess I start by stating I found a passion raging within me. I didn't know the passion was lying so deeply. It emerged seemingly quite by accident. We have a Bible study group studying the church. I am facilitating the group in partnership with Blythe. We are studying issues such as: What is a Christian Church? What is God's purpose and function of church? What is Jesus' relationship to the church? Who are the leaders of the church and what are their roles?
Our group has discussed and studied scripture relating to these questions. Sometimes our discussions have been poignant and sometimes the discussions have been rambling. Nevertheless, I have learned and have grown through the discussions and study.
As we discussed the purpose of the church and the role of leaders of the church, a question arose that greatly stirred my heart and wrenched my gut (Neither of these phenomena happen that frequently as I have grown older. It used to happen all the time when I was younger). And what was this question that stirred me so? "What are the roles of men and women in the leadership of the Church?"
Using passages from I Timothy and Titus, some members of our group believe that women are important members of the Body of Christ, but that church leadership (specifically elders, although many conservative/fundamentalist include church leadership in general) should only be men. The minute I hear that point being made or I think about it, anger boils up from deep inside. You would think that after attending churches for the last 15 or so years that basically operate from a male only leadership model, that I would have dealt with this issue before. Either I ignored my feelings, repressed them entirely or I am naive and ignorant. I will accept any conclusion.
Part of my passion about this issue was fueled a couple of evenings ago when I was laying in bed not sleeping. In effort to use my time well, I prayed to God to give me understanding and clarity in the issues we were to discuss the next day. Almost immediately, words started pouring into my head. It could have been God talking to me or I could have been talking to myself, however, information was coming in so fast, I had to stop the speaker several times to summarize and clarify what was being said. For over two hours I held this conversation, after which I felt great calm and finally went to sleep.

Here is a summary of my conversation:

1. The purpose of the church is to build the Body through the love of Christ. Everyone
is to be included. It means to bring people into the church or the body and build them
up with love. We are to love our God and to love our neighbor as Jesus set forth.
Everything else is secondary. We demonstrate our love with actions not words. We
demonstrate our love by valuing and respecting each person with whom we come into
contact. Love requires sacrifice of myself for others, not the other way around.

2. God never intended for there to be a separation in importance, role or value of His
Body. The relegation of women to second-class status in the Church (and elsewhere)
is wrong and distructive. This practice has not only been distructive to women, but
to men as well. From the beginning, this practice creates disunity and fosters sexism,
classism, racism and bigotry. The "male leader dominated" church is flawed in its
very fabric and only leads to disfunction and abuse.

3. There are many good women and men who have been part of these patriarchal
church systems. Most have had good intentions, but we have to look at the large
picture to observe that the life blood is being sucked out of women and many
men just isn't what God had in mind. So many are leaving the church and feeling
alienated. Male dominated leadership is not the only reason for alienation, but it is
a prime reason. This practice impacts every aspect of the church.

I can no longer be a member of any church that promotes or institutionalizes male controlled leadership. I ask forgiveness from my daughters, Sarah and Kate, for putting them in environments that basically labeled them as second class citizens. I pray that you use
the natural and spiritual gifts God gave you to the fullest. I pray that you do not permit
any group or institution to limit your dreams because of their archaic and destructive belief systems.

For me, I am going to keep studying and questioning. I thank God for working in my life.

I wish I were in Scotland

After receiving a blogspot from my daughter Kate, who is in Edinbourough, I decided that travel should not be wasted on youth. They have too much fun. They take whatever comes along and go with it. They have no sense of stability. A really good time would be spent in hotels that remind you of the US. An excellent time would be spent touring the country with other Americans eating American food whenever possible.


In Scotland, though, I would drink their ale. I do think a perfect trip would be to go on a Northern European beer tasting tour. I wouldn't want to go on this tour with a hipster from Portland. They would ask for Pabst or Millers. It would be embarrassing to drink Pabst in Germany. I would follow that tour with a Southern Europeon wine tasting tour. I did that once, but I can't remember it.


This summer I bought a motorcycle. I hadn't ridden a motorcycle for over 35 years. I needed a motorcycle so I could remind myself that I am not old. Besides relearning to ride, I had to learn the proper signal one must make to other motorcyclist when you meet them on the road. I observed some cyclist kind of wave their hands in the air. Those who wave their hands in the air are never riding Harleys. Other cyclist hold their hands out with palms out, while others hold their hands down pointing their pointer finger toward the ground. That seems the coolest. I will have to ask a cool rider what is the appropriate hand gestures are when greeting another rider. I did learn that when you are leaning into a tight corner, it is best not to signal another rider.


Some riders don't like to hand signal other riders. I am not sure, but it seems like Harley riders who look like theyhave been riding for a while don't signal as frequently. When I signal those riders, and they don't signal back, I quickly pull my hand back in and pretend I was just stretching my arm. I think good signaling skills are almost as important as good steering skills.


I think someday, I would like to ride around Scotland on a motorcycle.